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Hogtown - 19 November 2002

howdy hashers, i just returned from the hogtown hash in toronto , canada, eh. it was a blast and now i know why zippy always gives it such hi ratings. i arrived thurs with sapper dsapper awaiting at the airport. hotel check in, then out on the town. we wined and dined, ok we beered and queered at a few cool pubs b4 the pub crawl. it was a blast, good run, lots of good beer, eh!
friday, i was on my own but sapper dapper showed me how the trolley, trains and subways work. it is really cheap and easy 2 get around toronto thru public transport. denver should get the hint. i had coffee atop the CA tower then hiked back queens street shopping alonvvg the way. the US dollar is doing very well there so costs wasn't bad. i even caught harry potters new movie enroute. friday nite pub crawl thru downtown. past all the famous hogtown landmarks and about 80 or so went into a cool pub, prepaid beer and an ELVIS singer, all pre arranged by Rose eh. after elvis the hashers packed the dance floor until we were told 2 get on the bus. (did i 4get 2 say if was tacky dress nite?!?) it was snowing good by now and we were tranported enmass 2 another bar 4 a live band and kareokee upstairs, with pool downstairs, all beers included. we danced til last call, i rocked with "pussy gourmet" from florida all nite.
then back 2 the hotel in the snow were kegs and snacks awaited. all was still going strong by the time i crashed about 4am, maybe.
sat, a kick butt breakfast, some hash stash selling (had 2 pay 4 this trip someway), then off again. each bus had a keg and we were transported 2 the outskirts of hogtown (in the snow) 4 a kick ass trail...snowy, muddy, crossing icy streams, slick little wooden bridges, up and down steeps, etc...more then a few hashers slid and crashed, but no serious injuries, yet! we had a jagermeister check then on-on 2 more of the same til a muddy uphill 2 the end. gruppa, beer and snacks awaited us til the buses arrived. we were transported 2 the hotel, singing all the way. the race was on 2 get 2 your room and shower while there was still hot water, i made it but heard several didn't.
sat nites show was about 8 blocks walk away. alot of the "southern visitors" begged 4 rides do to the snow, but most of us hiked it. we helped carry some kegs and get the ball rolling. the circle was a blast with giggles running the mike, while rose eh got songs going from the sidelines. afterwards a dozen of us guys (or so) competed in a mr "BUFF A THON!", thong only contest. it started out wild and went straight down hill. i got second place due 2 some gymnastics with my loaner thong (thanks H2ho) covered my "other head". 2 jugs with his massive beer belly and welch build took the grand prize. honorable mention went 2 "shagless" the only female contestant. she was leatheer and chains, head 2 toe, except 4 a grass skirt. shes about 4 foot 7 and very asian/polynesian and her talent was imitating a hula dancing doll on your dash board. once she got going it was hilarious. then the band got naked, the pack got drunk, dancing til wee hours of the morning, stage diving, wall dancing, brief nudity and adult situations. did i 4get the huge meal put out by the hogtown town hash featuring, well HOGS! but there was enough curry and sides 2 fill up the most pickiest of vegatarians. then back 2 the hotel 4 more drunken debauchery. rumors of a busted hole in the wall, videaotaped sex, photo evidence caught on a security camera and more drunkeness all turned out 2 b true!
sunday morining, still snowing, hangover hash cancelled due 2 weather and hangovers. we were 2 run the beaches and boardwalk of lake ontario. instead the hares drove the 8 blocks (or so) back 2 the legion hall (party site of the nite b4) laying a trail of pretzels. we staggered in behing and had another huge kick butt breakfast. many good byes, chemical whorefare, u make me miss my catholic school days baby! then we ajourned back 2 the hotel 4 football and 2 mt the kegs.
sunday nite, dinner and closing a few pubs rounded out the evening, i trained back 2 sapper dappers lair 2 save on another day at the hotel.
monday lunch i treated rose eh and dapper 2 lunch, alittle walk around town but mostly a lazt day at dappers. it had stopped snowing but was chilly. monday nite, the regular hogtown hash, about 2 dozen (or so) met while the hare nu shoes led the pack on out. it was in town and alittle short (at least the snow had stopped). beer check at hooters warmed us back up, then a short dash 2 the beginning 4 the end. the higtowners let me sing a few songs 4 them in the circle as we all drank the bed pan dry. good group, good beer, lots of fun.
the snow and tempatures in toronto is usually much nicer this time of year. it is just this was their 15th anniversary of the hogtown h3 founding. please consider this 4 next year. i hope 2 b going again "roadtrip!" it was well worth the $ and effort. toronto is a city of 4 million and has something 4 every1, concerts, sports, theatre, beaches, shopping, great dining and a public transport system that makes it easy and cheap and warm 2 get around in all weekend. hogtown is going 2 bid 4 the interam 2005 while in costa rica. they attend the colorado invihash regularly and we could give 'em alot of support. i feel it will b better then a camp out in alabama in the hottest, most humid, biggiest time of summer. (just my opinion)... ON-ON Hogtown! c u next year! alwys chuck E cheeks ;)


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