Pikes Peak #460: Festival of Dionysis - 24 April 2004
Hares: Erection Master, Hand Job, and NipsSucker
24 hounds and three hares showed up for what turned out to be an outstanding afternoon, despite weather forecasts for 10 inches of snow. On before at Savelli's saw five newbies, lead by male nurse FIMA (Finger in My Ass) with three female nurses and one female doctor from the Air Force Academy Hospital. With Glitoris, Shoe Slut, Midnite Stroker and, of course, Aqua the Massage Terrorist, maybe we should rename ourselves the Medical And Surgical Hash ... MASH. We owed the nubie's presence to Pants, who brought us to their attention ... and has just gotten out of the hospital! Impressive, most people in the hospital just feel sorry for themselves - he recruits new hounds.
Even more significantly, Yeasty Boy and Bread Box, now of the Las Vegas Hash, showed up in town for a wedding. And MOST significantly, Oxymoron showed up, actually walking unaided! God speed to his son Fruit of the Loins, now just outside Fallujah, and Erin Hanson, also seeing action in Iraq.
Anyhow, the live hare, Erection Master, took off early to make sure some suspicious types hadn't removed trail marks (if you see a guy walking two huge German Shephards, do not compliment them by saying they are as big as horses ... he really, really, REALLY HATES HORSES) and Nips briefed all on the trail markings. As usual, no one paid attention. Nips then served as "sweep," carrying what turned out to be the most useless broom in the whole damned world.
Off the pack went, under a highway bridge, across a 2 x 6 foot plank (not even Head Hammeroid fell in ... yeah I know, HEAD PLANT), then down the mighty, storm swollen, raging Fountain Creek, which they then had to ford to follow a dry (somehow) creek bed into, of all places, Garden of the Gods. It's amazing how far some people will go out of their way to avoid getting their feet wet! And if Meat Gazer hadn't been trying to keep her feet dry, then MAYBE ... more on that later.
Wending their way through the park, all eventually arrived at the beer check at the Mad Scotsman picnic ground to find ... only water and sodas. Just before the Beer check Nips had the opportunity to help Full Service with bra issues ... man I hate being the sweep ... but my name IS Nips, after all. The trail then split into turkey and eagle trails, with the eagle trail heading up a ridge that I know we've never hashed before. Turkey trail went through the Siamese Twins rock formation. The trails remerged, only to once again split at Hanging Rock into a Turkey Trail and a more scenic Eagle Trail which went through the PLANNED end at the side of Rampart Range Road. However, because of the threat of bad weather, the hares had switched to a safer ending ... Savelli's ... which treated us great.
Beer was drunk and down downs were downed. Much was made of nurses attire ... the sexy white caps, the sexy white stockings ... and those are the MALE nurses. Both FRB chains were exchanged, with Chernoballs accepting the male version ... who got the female version? The hares were unjustly accused of setting a sucking trail, although with all the mud ... it really did suck! Meat Gazer won the HUYA for getting wounded on trail ... you would have thought she lost a leg! It wouldn't have happened if she forded the creek! Glitoris and, I think Full Service, were happy to provide medical attention ... good to have a lot of medical types! MG showed her appreciation to Chernoballs for finishing her down down by taking the harriette option ... there is a God!
FIMA said we were the greatest kennel he's ever seen ... we'll eventually figure out why he's sucking up to us. Sucking, but good trail, engineered by Erection Master. I know he scouted it at least four times.
Great Hash Business led by Chernoballs .... he's turning into a maniac!
Let's be careful out there,