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Boulder H3 - 25 April 2004

What a turnout! 29 hounds showed up despite the rain and snow in the AM, or should that be 31 since Podiaphile and Raggedy Anus did it twice - backwards and forwards? Amazingly they were both FRB AND DFL in the same hash.

This hash was hared by yours truly, BlueLips, ably assisted by Spermes. The pack included: Speedbump, Lowlife, Sinbad, Sloppy Droppings, JustHolly, ShortDick@Law, Pyro, Spits, Birdman, LeSkinFlute, ShoeF*^#ker, Eats It All, Ball Taster, LittleHead, KneeDeep, TripleTongue, Raggedy, 11 yr Bitch, DooLittle, permanent visitor ASS and others too numerous to remember. I was glad to see all of you.

The hares arrived at the start to find Speedbump munching a huge Lamar's chocolate doughnut. Incredibly, he refused the offer of a beer to wash it down. Should have used Lamar's as the reference point instead of Walgreens.

The sun broke through the clouds about the time the pack took off in the wrong direction. My subtle attempts at hare drift failed, my shouted on on failed, my whistle blowing failed. This hare resorted to standing on a ridge and screaming "NO, NO, NO!" in what was referred to during circle (yes, I drank for this) as a "command voice". That finally worked and all but Pod, Raggedy, Spits and 11 year Bitch found true trail. Hey, it was a fun trail and we'd used 25 pounds of flour in the rain to mark it. There was NO WAY I was going to let that trail go untrammeled!

And so went the pack: past Blockbuster, through the mud, and along the railroad tracks. Lots of good checks and falses kept the pack together, or at least sort of. Across the RR tracks, through a nice ruralish neighborhood complete with horse pastures, and a few soggy fields, over a couple wood and barbed wire fences, out Old Wadsworth to the bike path and beyond.

After only about 20 minutes the whole pack blew through a false and was already at the beer check. Spermes was fortunately there with the beer, but it was neck and neck. The beer check was in a secluded thicket by the creek. Many added to their thistle collections on the way out.

Then it was over more fences that the likes of Birdman and Eats It All WALKED over, past a llama or two and through another muddy field - that really slippery clay kind (a visiting hasher in town for a job interview slipping on the mud asked me what the hell this stuff was supposed to be - SHIGGY of course!)

We then proceeded around a school, through the playground of course, and under Wadsworth. Since everyone found the false "A" return trail at the start, noone was fooled by it on the back end and everyone charged up the hill. Circle back through another park, which as Lowlife claimed, had no obvious exit so it HAD to be where trail went. Through the bullrushes, up the cart track and, HHH. There already waiting were our own very lovely 11 year Bitch and Spits, who demonstrating true Harriet intelligence started backwards and had the good sense to just stop when they got to the end.

Circle was held outside on the bikepath on what turned out to be a gorgeous sunny day to the prolonged delight of many, and the consternation of the hares who had planned on beer and food in the bar that we were circled behind. Nobody else cared, (I did a downdown for suggesting going into the bar) so the circle continued with singing led by Littlehead and Sinbad (who always know the words to all the songs).

Downdowns were too numerous to remember, but the noteworthy included: Birdman, sporting a baby blue cast on his wrist which he insisted was the result of a barfight in Wyoming; A skiboot downdown for the returning skiers in the group - Birdman, BlueLips, Lowlife, TripleTongue, Kneedeep; reboots - Shoef*$@er, Snowjob; Eats It All, Ball TAster; virgins brought by Can't Get a Boner, who tried to pretend he didn't even know his own visitors (they were SORT of cute). Thanks to LeSkinFlute and Shoef*$@er who did proxy downdowns for Spermes while he was making an emergency beer run.

Good job on the part of the pack on switching to PG mode whenever children or non-hashers made an appearance. Good recruitment efforts by ShortDick@law and several others with those who wandered unknowing through our midst.

And of course the usual lame accusations - Spits drank because she was wearing new headgear (way to go Pyro, someday you can write a book on "How NOT to improve your sex life"), Raggedy Anus distinguished himself by coming up with about 27 accusations, and of course our dear Lowlife had to drink because she falsely accused the hares of not having a "wetshoe hash as advertised" which had been Speedbump's theme from the previous week, not only lame but wrong. You get the idea.

On after into the Sweetwater Pub, for more beer, food and merriment. I had to leave early, but everyone was shaping up to have a good time and I think we remembered to tip our waitress so we have a chance of being welcomed back.

And there was much rejoicing.
Thus endeth another hash,

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