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Hash Trash

Invihash X Snowmass Labor Day weekend 2002

Here is my feeble attempt to recall the comings and goings this past weekend. The only night I made it to last call was Friday and by Sunday morning I could not recite the alphabet.

Friday evening commenced the festivities at the Wildwood. The kegs were flowing and frothing a kennel of Flying Dogs. CO2 systems are a bit foamy at altitude. There was singing, there was drinking, more singing and drinking. A new wetlands was created on the lower level of the lodge. Last call was 1AM time for bed.

Saturday morning greeted the pack with sunshine, hearty breakfast and Crack Climbers massage table at pool side. What is the difference between a massage and molesting? You can't rape the willing.

The ball busters headed on out promptly at noon to do a Nips trail. It was marked in red to disguise Bloody Organs blood trail. Eagles headed on out at 12:30 with the Turkeys bringing up the rear at 1PM.

The ball buster and eagle trails were the same uphill battle for the first 2 miles. The ball buster kept going on up with the eagle hiking through the woods. All of the eagles made the beer check before the ball busters had summitted. Bloody Organ was on the bleeding edge followed by Birdman and John Boy from Houston. The turkeys got a ride up the chair lift to mid peak with a transverse to the beer check. The whole pack then went down slope to the on-in at mid mountain.

Chuck E Cheeks was the mountainside RA.  All was normal until Jug Tugger and Take A Fuck passed the pint of Wild Turkey to Chuck for a sip. One pint chug later Chuck was doing butt chugs off Horny. On out down the hill to the Wildwood for frolicking in the pool and hot tub. Cream of Meat DFl'ed arriving back at the Wildwood prior to dinner.

Dinner was a fine lasagna tent festival with the skits scheduled for the evening. Time for CG to pass out. See ya tomorrow morning in the hot tub for a good morning bowl of mountain grown.

Following another hearty breakfast Turd Bird started his defense of the yellow jersey at pool side. It was a valiant effort but by the time the hounds were running the Turd was flushed from his roost. The ball busters headed out again at noon for a Birdman trail. The Eagles flew at 12:30 with turkeys lurking at 1PM. The FUCK hash did its thing at pool side all day.

Trail was A to A with the on-in at pool side. Headbanger took over the headset. Tejas was recognized for its 30+ representatives, yee ha! The local constable arrived just in time to witness oral interaction in the hot tub. Fortunately the sodomy laws in Colorado are permissive. Its time for a cannonball and on out to BBQ dinner in the Silvertree Cabaret. Karakoe was the evenings entertainment but yet again the author prematurely passes out, see ya on Labor Day.

Labor Day and the hashing is easy. The hares have mercy and fortunately the Two Lips trail has a Port-o-san half way through. I feel sorry for the construction crew who has to use this facility on Tuesday. The Mimosa's are flowing at pool side. The hounds look pretty weary and the final circle is a simple recitation of Swing Low. On out, go the fuck home Invihash X is over.

Mucho gras to Ultrawimp and his mismanagement team and to Knee Deep for the excellent management of the catering.

Celestial Gate, playing Mac's reader rabbit games to rehabilitate higher brain function


For those of you that learned to love/hate this song at Snowmass:

So you tink you and your boys can really drink da beer We're gonna tell you something dat you won't wanna hear It will probly ruin your weekend and you're gonna get the blues 'Cause we can get drunker den youse

We can get drunker den youse If you think you'll challenge us ya know you're gonna lose You can even pick da drink, don't matter beer or booze 'Cause we can get drunker den youse

At da Milwaukee Brewers game on opening day...we can get drunker den youse Or up in Green Bay when we watch da Packers play...we can get drunker den youse We see our friends Vic Ferrari when dey play da rock'n'roll...we can get drunker den youse To da stock car races down in Plymouth we go...we can get drunker den youse

We can get drunker den youse If you think you'll challenge us ya know you're gonna lose You can even pick da drink, don't matter beer or booze 'Cause we can get drunker den youse

We are da Happy Schnapps...we like to drink our shots Yah we know where it's at...'cause we drink beer and dat And Wenzel drinks da wine...that's why we know it's true Dat we can get drunker den youse

Down at Summerfest we do da polkas our way...we can get drunker den youse At da Wisconsin State Fair on a warm and sunny day...we can get drunker den youse We go by Illinois to da microbrewery fest...we can get drunker den youse Everywhere we go we drink more den all da rest...we can get drunker den youse

We can get drunker den youse If you think you'll challenge us ya know you're gonna lose You can even pick da drink, don't matter beer or booze 'Cause we can get drunker den youse Oh we can get drunker, yeah we can get drunker We can get drunker den youse

HEY ! !

Contributed by Lassie Licker

Mismanagement included:
Sperm Crawler ....... Beer Miester and assisatant Flunky
Knee Deep in Brown Stuff ...... Hash Stuff and Meals
Errection Master ........ Head Hare
Hand Job ...... Head Welcum Table
Lowlife ...... Ass Welcum Table
Chuckee Cheeks ..... Advisor, Artist, and Head Mouth
Little Wiener .... Head Security and Slave
Just Jorden ..... Ass Security
Triple Toung .... Medical Proctologist
Thanks to others for helping. And of couse me Ultrawimp .. Head Idiot/Budgeter/and Purchasing Agent (30 trips to COSTCO) and GM of the 2002 Snow Ass mess.
Date: Sun, 8 Sep 2002 09:14:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: Becca Drumbor
Subject: Re: [ColoH3] Complements to 2002 Snow'Ass Hash
Kudos to all the mismanagement. What a great event this was! I hear I had a spectacular time! My liver and I are trying to fingure out a way to repay you all!
ONON to Invihash XI
(maybe I'll have my voice back by then)
From: mick bart[]
Sent: Monday, September 09, 2002 1:45 PM
Subject: Re: [invihash]
greetings hashers. thank u, thank u 1 and all 4 attending the colorado invihash at snowmass. almost 300 hashers, perfect weather, trails with altitude, mt bikes, killer kareokee, strip skits, great food and good times. special thanks 2 ultrawimp and his band of merry men (and women) who did the work so the rest of us could enjoy the weekend. special thanks 2 all the out of state visiting hashers whom make this a great hash event, especially those who keep cuming back.
personal hanks 2 all of those who escorted me around sat nite and were concerned 4 my welfare, don't worry, it won't happen again. it's amazing how much talent u can find in a group of hashers. on-on 2 u all, c u in pennsylvania in sept, taos in oct and hopefully hogtown in november (who has info on hogtown hash nov 2002?) !!! "HAIL ZIPPY!" ;) chuck E cheeks
looking 4ward 2 doing it all again lets say, keystone, co in 2004 hmmmmmmmmm; "all in favor say aye!"
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