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Hash Trash

Red Dress Recap 14 September 2002

After a week of much needed rain, the weather gods interceded to smile upon the RA and favor the hash with a perfect day for the 7th anal P2H4 red dress run.
A pack of 55 gathered at Benny's Lounge on west Colorado Avenue, all but one sporting their finest frilly findings from the local thrifts. Benny's regular Saturday barflies looked on in amusement and uncertainty while beers were consumed and fashion critiques were exchanged; passing traffic slowed to view the strange scene outside the front door, and the barkeep reported several phone calls from the unenlightened and curious.
On-out at 2:30, with a photo stop around the corner at the rear entrance of the Hide & Seek, then down the path and up the creek bank for the first beer check a quarter mile later. Now properly lubricated, the hounds took in a scenic 3.5 mile tour of downtown Colorado Springs, with additional photo stops at Mr. Big's Diner, the County Sheriff's detention center, the front steps of City Hall, the Christian Science reading room, and the entrance to the local Womens' Club. Along the banks then of Fountain Creek to a second beer check at the edge of Monument Valley Park, to a final photo stop at the old train depot behind Antler's Park, before completing the trail at No Girth's workplace under the Colorado Avenue bridge.
Honorable mentions to all who helped make it happen or otherwise brought recognition upon themselves:
Our Beermeisters, WFC and Erection Master, for providing the beer that is the reason we're all there...and for promptly responding to the dire emergency that occurred when it was discovered in the midst of hash business that we'd already killed the keg! A tip of the hat also the our hash cash, Grit In Her Slit, for unhesitatingly forking over some bucks to fund a second keg, and to Phantom Pussy for grabbing the car keys and making it happen.
To No Girth, for generously lending his car as shag wagon and his workplace for the On-In.
To Chernoballs, for kicking off the circle; and to KeepsItUp, for helping keep the pack as together as it ever gets, for the photo stops.
Congratulations to No Girth and to Yeastee Boy, on the occasion of their muggings with the commemorative P2H4 beer vessels; to Yeastee Boy and Bread Box on the occasion of their wedding day; to Palmer Prince(ss), whose silver tongue (or short skirt) prompted one passing jogger to join in with the pack; to the three wankers who earned their hash names: Just Brian, become "Head Out on the Highway;" Just Rebecca, now known as "Pippi Cockstocking;" and just Vic, renamed "Nut Wrencher."
To the one hound who refused to show up in a red dress...for finally coming to grips with his homophobia and asserting he will wear one next year (we WILL remember and we WILL strip you down and cover you with Cheese Whiz if you show up without one next year!). And, to all the hounds in attendance, for commendable overachievement in the field of beer consumption, killing not one but two kegs of MGD in record time.
Same time again next year!

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